Crabtastic
TorrentBoy had nowhere left to run. There were pirates on every side, and they were ready to attack!
“Arrr!” spat the closest pirate. “How d’ye like my sword?”
He swung his sword up high, ready to strike! TorrentBoy wasted no time: he poked the pirate in the eyes with his fingers, and the sword dropped free, straight into his hand!
“Yargh!” the pirate screamed, holding his eyes. “Ye scurvy dog! Get ‘im, lads!”
TorrentBoy spun the sword around, ready to fight. He’d never used a sword before, but he’d seen a lot of them on TV. How hard could it be?
The first attack came from the left, and he barely avoided having his arm chopped off by a swishing sabre. He swung back with his sword, but missed completely. Another pirate charged from the right, but he blocked with the butt of his weapon, just in time!
A quick kick to his leg knocked him off balance, and he landed on the ground with a thump. A big hairy pirate tried to flatten him with a giant hammer, but he rolled out of the way as the metal smashed into the ship beside him.
“That was close,” he gasped.
“No kidding,” agreed Rezzit. “And here comes another!”
TorrentBoy barely had time to react before the hammer landed right where he’d been lying. He quickly used his sword to cut the big pirate’s belt, and his pants fell down around his ankles!
“Teddy bear underwear?” TorrentBoy laughed.
“Crash’ll be thrilled,” said Rezzit.
The big pirate’s face turned red and he waddled off in shame, crying like a baby.
TorrentBoy felt a tug at his foot, and then he was being lifted off the ground by his feet, swung around and around in circles!
“I’m gonna throw up!” he yelled.
“Away ye go!” laughed the first pirate, and then TorrentBoy was released, flying through the air, and collided with the door to the pirate ship. He landed on the ground with a thud, rolled a short distance away.
“That wasn’t fun,” he groaned.
“Bouncy-boy, behind you!”
When he turned around, TorrentBoy saw the door opening, and out walked a giant, fearsome-looking man with wild orange hair, a patch over one eye, and a big skull-and-crossbones emblem on a sash around his waist. His laser sabre glowed blood red.
“Big bad pirate,” TorrentBoy squeaked.
“So you be the one who’s been gettin’ our way, are ye?” the pirate sneered.
“That’s right. Got a problem with it?”
The pirate laughed loudly, and TorrentBoy noticed how laughing pirates are somehow scarier than angry ones.
“No more than I be bothered by a fly! Now, ye stickly lad, prepare to taste the blade of Captain Cornficker!”
“Captain what?”
“Cornficker.”
“That’s your name?”
“Yes it be. Making fun of it, are ye?”
“No,” said TorrentBoy, shrugging. “It’s just not very scary, is it? Couldn’t you have come up with something better?”
“Me mam gave me this name!”
“Wow. What did they call you in school? Corny?”
“Kid, don’t make the scary man angry.”
“Sicky Ficky,” the pirate said, looking a bit sad at the memory.
“That couldn’t have been fun,” said TorrentBoy.
“It wasn’t,” said Captain Cornficker. “Every day at attendance, everyone laughed at me.”
“Kids can be mean,” TorrentBoy sympathized, getting to his knees, trying to find a way to escape while the pirates were distracted.
“Aye, they can,” nodded the captain. “Mean and cold as the sea. But I learned from them, got cold m’self. And now I’m the meanest pirate the world’s ever known!”
“Yarrr!” agreed the rest of the pirates.
TorrentBoy was just about to make his move when Cornficker’s blade touched his chin.
“Ye won’t be gettin’ away so easy!” he said. “Neither you nor your little friend! Bring’im up, lads!”
With a quick shove, David was pushed to the front of the crowd, falling to his knees next to TorrentBoy. He looked over, sad and scared. In his arms was Charlie, the baby crab.
“What be that?” asked Captain Cornficker, pointing at Charlie with his sword.
“It’s Charlie,” said David, holding up the crab.
The captain gasped and stumbled back.
“Ye fools! That be a proton crab!”
The rest of the pirates backed up as well.
“What’s so special about a proton crab?” TorrentBoy asked, just before the entire ship shook violently. A giant blue and glowing claw reached up over the side, followed by pointy legs scratching and scrambling, and finally they saw it: a gigantic crab! Charlie’s mother!
“That looks like bad news,” TorrentBoy sighed.
“Then get ready for more,” warned Rezzit. “Look around!”
There, coming out of the water all around the ship, were another ten giant crabs, all looking very angry! The pirates held their swords ready, but their arms shook with fear.
“What do we do?” David whispered to TorrentBoy.
“Try not to be sea food!”