Notice of Death
The hangar was bathed in orange light, long sheets of plastic draping down like cobwebs in an attic, casting half-shadows on the walls and floor. She ran her hand along the tarp, felt the roughened grit and the cold gloss of the machine beneath. It was the death mask of a hero, standing proud in its throne room, looming tall over all visitors. She knelt before it, for so many reasons.
She found the letter in a worn envelope by the front wheel, the small, precise letters of an engineer spelling “Chenne.” She looked at it, running her fingers along the edge, the object she most wanted and most feared.
She opened it, unfolding the paper inside, and read in silence, the tears held back to protect the words below.
Dear Chenne,
I will not see you again. I have turned myself in, and I hope you will understand why. They would find me someday, and I cannot live with that fear. It would not be a life.
You said you would take care of my money, and I hope you will still take that task. I would ask you to go to the hospital and make the payment yourself, so I can be sure it will be done. They will seize all I have, and I cannot lose my baby to such a reason.
Thank you for all you have done for me today. I will never forget it.
I asked you once if you were happy with your life. If you were happy giving up passion for safety. And in truth, I was looking for the answer myself. I think I have it now, and I regret it took such a day to become clear.
Get out of this game while you can. It will kill you. You will not change the world. The world will change everything you know as yourself, and you will not see it until you are two steps past the point of no return.
You can change things, Chenne. I need you to change things. But do not change yourself.
As always,
Yuri
She held the letter as she stood in the hospital, watching Anya wheeled to surgery, the bed making no noise as she floated down the hall like an angel.
She held the letter as she faced Sabina, lacking the words to tell her, only shaking her head and holding back her own tears out of respect. Playing the enemy. Making it easier.
“I’ll make it better, Yuri,” she said to no one at all, and she hoped he would know.